The Emotional Roller Coaster.. Food

Holidays... everywhere there is food! Yesterday I had some big highs and some big lows... all related to food. My college son is home for the week, and I want to cook all his favorites.. instead I offer him diet chili... healthy burger with no bun... which he eats with a smile.. only makes me want to cook something even more. Sorry Patrick, no holiday treats here :(

Yesterday we were planning on doing the grocery shopping so I am getting ready to go. I am trying to figure out what to wear and decided to try on some of the clothes that were in the too small tote... two new pairs of jeans fit.. size 18! Same size I was when I met Dave... mind you they are still a little tight.. but I wore them out shopping *happy dance* I am not even half way to what I want to lose total but it is moving right along.

Now to do the price matching and coupon matching for my grocery shopping trip.. lay out all the fliers and start going through them.. Arghhh :( Everything Thanksgiving is in there.. every baking item you would ever need... every frozen treat... candy... cool whip.. pies.. yams.. turkeys.. anything and everything I WANT IT ALL!!! I get none of it *pout* Think size 18... size 16... think muscle not fat.. think.. skinny... think healthy... ok I am back on track and ready for the store.

Or so I thought... talk about a battle... looking the to the left... cookies... to the right.. cider...eggnog... more baking stuff and treats... piled at the end of every aisle is everything Not on my list... all the pretty colors... this stuff is trying to jump into my cart. I am going through the store as quick as I can.. grabbing my rice cakes.. my V8 and my cauliflower and just trying to get out of there asap. I wish it was asap.. instead we get to spend 30 minutes in checkout .. everyone else in the store has all their Thanksgiving stuff in the carts.. and I just stand there watching it all scroll down the belt.

Into the car... headed home.. and the tears start... so much balancing... I love being able to wear my smaller clothes... I love being able to tie my shoes... I love that my feet do not hurt me all the time (wish it was helping my shoulder) there is so much wonderful happening right now as each pound falls off... but I do miss cooking.. and baking.. and feeding people and just enjoying food. I have used food as comfort for a long time... I have "taken care" of people by feeding them... food makes things better... but not really.. I mean it still can... I can still cook and bake and feed people.. but healthy food is not yet fun or comforting to me.. even though Dave said I make a good chili out of some horrible vegetables.

This phase of our diet is hard because the foods we eat are so limited that there are not a lot of options on what and how to make things... starting next week we are back into the 3rd phase and it brings more selection and options and that will help.. I am totally making a cheese cake again :) I also know that I just need to hang on and keep at it and that I will be able to find comfort in cooking, eating and feeding people again... I am sure it will be even more comforting knowing we will all be healthier for it.

No Sugar Cheese Cake

Added a few extra berries here... it is my favorite part :)


I made this last Thursday.. super easy and simple and it taste great. I made a half recipe and put it in a pie pan with a thin graham cracker crust. I did not have any fruit in the cheese cake itself.. just fresh berries on top. I also did not add the butter to the cheese cake but used a little with the cracker crumbs. Cut it in 8 pieces and figured out the math so that each piece (minus berries on top) was about 150 calories. The full recipe says it makes 12 servings.

Cheese cake recipe from HCG liquid diet Phase three recipe (lots more recipes at the link too)

• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups Plain Yogurt Plain Greek yogurt is good!
• 1 tablespoon Stevia
• 16 ounces cream cheese Softened
• 2 tablespoons butter melted

Directions

In a large bowl, blend together eggs, vanilla, sour cream and stevia. Slowly add butter and cream cheese. Spoon about 1/2c mix into another bowl and add raspberry flavoring (sugar free, any flavor) Mix well. Spoon remaining mix into a 10 inch spring release pan or 12 ramekins.(see photo) Add dollops of raspberry batter on top and swirl thru. If desired, you can make a crust from 1 1.2 cups ground almonds, 1/4 cup splenda and 1/4 butter. Mix all together like you would graham cracker crust and line pan or ramekins. (calculations do not include crust) Bake in 350 degree oven for 20-25 min if cooking ramekins, 35-40 min for spring pan. This will not look done, but will firm up when refrigerated. Place ramekins in a water bath or place a shallow pan with water in overn below the pan or ramekins. Garnish with fresh raspberries and whipped cream if desired (not included in counts) This can be frozen. Number of Servings: 12

I let it cool a bit then put it in the fridge.. I got busy and forgot to cover it and it sinked down and cracked a bit.. next time I will cover right away.. and eat the next day.. we ended up not eating it until Saturday night.. it had dried out a bit too much.. but was still good :)

Eating on Our "diet"

This new way of eating is working out really good for us... Lots of veggies and some fruit and some healthy meat... Since Dave does not like veggies I have been making up a soup that gives him 4 cups of veggies in every bowl. Today I made up a huge pan of it so that everyday I can warm him up a big bowl of it to go with dinner and he is happy and healthy :)

After this stage I give it a little puree so he can not see the veggies

I also baked a bunch of chicken and then cut up each serving into bite size pieces and put them in baggies we can have for lunch... and made 5 lbs of hamburger ( the 96/4) into 4 oz patties in the freezer. This week we added 15 servings of cod to the freezer too.. all frozen in single little servings I can just pull out and pop in the oven :) Eating like this is proving to be simple and easy.. to shop for.. to cook for and to eat.

It amazes me to think that in the last 17 days I have used no sugar.. no butter.. no breads.. no pasta... nothing preserved or boxed or fake.. everything has been fresh.. I did use stevia .. two little packets.. one when I made bbq sauce and one on some strawberries.. but that is it. I may not have lost a hundred lbs yet.. but we are both feeling so much better.. more focused and cleaner and in great spirits. A lot of people tell me negative things about this hcg diet... but a lot of them do not get it... for some of us, everyone is different, but like for us here.. being fat is a big mental thing.... this diet is teaching us how good we feel when we eat right.. and showing us some pretty bad habits we had.. we were not eating because we were hungry.. we were eating because it was habit. This diet has taken the hunger away and is letting us learn a lot about ourselves and how we work and allowing us the chance to change our habits and how we think about things. Not every "diet" works for every person...but this one is working for us.. not only are we losing weight.. and inches.. but we are feeling amazing... and learning so much and making huge life changes in how we eat.. what we eat.. and why we eat.

Keeping Track of my Weight

Started a new diet thing ... yes I know people hate the word diet.. but I am ok with it.. for me it is just a short way of saying I started a new way of watching what I eat and paying attention to how I am feeding my body and how I am taking care of myself. A couple of years ago we started a "diet" where we cut out the junk food.. stopped going to fast food restaurants.. this not only saved us a lot of money but we figured between fast food... soda.. and pizza.. we were eating close to 8k calories a day.. yes that would be number one on how we got fat.. plus we were not doing any form of exercise... those two things together and the pounds just flew on. We stopped eating all the ick and started walking almost every day and hiking and we stopped gaining weight.. even started losing....then life happens and we end up being too busy for the hiking and the walking starts to be less and less and the weight slowly starts coming back on... and we start eating out more.. and here we are on the up hill again... we know what we need to do... we need to eat healthy and exercise more... having a hard time getting back on that track though.

A couple of people I know started a liquid HCG diet and Dave and I were talking about it... then we learned some good friends were also starting it and we decided to jump in too. Some people love this and some hate it... I am a bit nervous about it but I do see it working with people and I am going to give it a try. Plan is to use it as a jump start... since we are having a hard time getting motivated and started again I am thinking this is going to be a great cleansing to be able to get back to no junk food and better eating schedule and being able to exercise a lot more... anyone who wants to talk to me about the harm it can do.. I have heard it.. and I do not throw away the concerns.. but.. there is also the thought that being fat is doing a lot of harm. I am not posting this to debate if this is a good "diet" or not... I am here so I can keep track of how this is working for me and my progress with it.

We took our measurements and got on the scale.. I know that last time I was losing weight it really helped when I shared it here... it holds me accountable and makes me work harder. When the whole world can see what you are doing (I know the whole world reads my blog..holds its breath just waiting for me to post ) or not doing it helps.. last time I listed my weight.. so sharing that is not a huge deal for me this time around.. but writing down how big I am in inches for anyone to see.. wow that is a hard one... just looking at it on paper myself is hard. I will be weighing in everyday and measuring once a week. I will be updating on this post and not starting new posts for any of this ( at least that is the plan )

That all being said... here goes

Week 1 ~ This was not as hard as we had thought or in the ways we had expected. The drops really help with the cravings and with being hungry. My biggest problem is I am not hungry at all... I am having to force myself to eat to be able to get enough calories each day. The water is going through me as if I was a funnel... not sure what good it does when it goes through so fast. Dave is having almost no problems with any of it. Last night was his first night of feeling a bit hungry late at night... he was up working... but he dealt with it fine. He is getting his veggies in a soup every night.. boring but he likes it so that works. Learning a lot about things we do, mostly with food, because of habit.. really paying attention to those things and keeping notes... really focusing and talking a lot about how the healthy eating will continue in our lives. Will be keeping LOTS of veggies and fruits and smaller portions and staying away from sugar and carbs. This week will be trying some new recipes.... That is one thing I do not discuss with Dave.. he does not want to know he is eating vegetables. *smile*

Weight

Date Weight Total loss

8-19-11 ~ 255.6

8-26-11 ~ 247.6 -8lbs

9-2-11 ~ 242.6 -13lbs

9-9-11 ~ 238.0 -17.6lbs

9-16-11 ~ 237.0 -18.6 lbs

9-23-11 ~ 234.0 -21.6lbs

9-30-11 ~ 232.4 - 23.2lbs

11-8-11 ~ 225.0 -30.6

11-18-11 ~ 222.2 -33.4

2-2-12 ~ 213.8 -41.8

Measurements

8-19-11 ~~~~ 9-23-11 ~~~~ 9-30-11 ~~~~ 11-18-11 ~~~~~2-3-12

Neck ~~ 15 ~~~~ 14.5 ~~~~ 14.25 ~~~~~~ 14 ~~~~~~ 13.5

arms ~~ 15 ~~~~ 14 ~~~~ 14.25 ~~~~~~ 13.75 ~~~~~ 13.25

chest ~~ 50 ~~~~ 48.5 ~~~~ 47.5 ~~~~~~ 46.75 ~~~~~ 44.75

waist ~~ 51.25 ~~~ 51.5 ~~~~ 47.75 ~~~~~~ 44.25 ~~~~~ 41.75

hips ~~ 55.5 ~~~~ 53 ~~~~~ 52 ~~~~~~ 50.25 ~~~~~~ 48.75

legs ~~26.25 ~~~~ 24.5 ~~~~ 24.25 ~~~~~~ 22.75 ~~~~~ 22.25

9/30/11 ~Today is day 43, that is two binge days and then 34 days on phase two and now 7 days into phase 3. I am down now to 232.4 scale goes up a little and down a little every day... pretty much staying right about here. What has amazed me the most has been the inches I have lost in this last week. All of a sudden the inches came off and I lost almost as many in this last week as I did in the last month. Which is nice because I now am able to wear a size smaller and I have clothes in this size I have been saving and hoping I could wear again... now I am working towards the next size smaller. Will do phase 3 for a couple more weeks... then a little bit of phase four and start back on phase 2 around the 21st of October.

11-18-11 Into the last week of Phase 2 round 2 and I am down a total of 33.4 lbs and 21.75 inches. Next week is Thanksgiving... and then we have a road trip planned and my Birthday and Christmas and New Years... some big challenges coming up.. time to really stay focused. Will start another round in Jan... I am going to try to work hard.. lots of exercise and eating good between now and then to be as close to under 200 lbs as possible

2-3-12 Last week of phase 2on the third round.. this one has been hard. Does not help that we went through Thanksgiving.. Christmas... son being home.. two road trips ... and news years eve... before we started.. had a bit of a hard time before we started this.. all in all we did pretty good. Had gained back 4lbs that had to be lost in this round too. I did it :) I am really seeing a difference now.... started in a size 24 jeans and now a 20 is lose.. I can put on size 18 but not really wear them yet.. I do expect to be able to very soon.. which will mean I will need new clothes very soon. I have one pair of jeans and one pair of Capri pants in that size.. then nothing smaller. I have been wearing all my summer clothes just because they are getting super baggy and by the time summer gets here I will need all new clothes in that area too. I am not planning on doing another round of the hcg diet for awhile.. I want to give it 3 months or so.. really focus on working out and eating healthy and getting things toned up and adding some muscle... then possibly will do one more round end of April and then this summer will be all about hiking and working out and eating right. I Want Muscles!!