Anger at the Beach

Today I took no pictures on my beach walk, today I gathered no treasures. I walked along the shore and I cried. I thought of the families who are missing, the damage and the pain and hurt that is in Japan right now. I prayed and I cried and I prayed some more.

I had to make myself go to the beach today, I thought I was a bit afraid... but I knew when I got there it would be ok... and yet it wasn't. I am not afraid of the beach, I am though angry at it. Which sounds weird.. but the beach has been my safe place, my place of therapy, and watching the news this last weekend and seeing all the damage that was done I feel like I just found out someone I love and trusted turned evil.

It is sort of weird writing this, feels childish. My head gets that the beach itself did not stand up and decide to go hurt people and destroy lives, and by admitting that I am angry at the beach shows that I have been thinking of it as something with thought and feelings. Yes I spend much time walking along the shore talking to the waves and letting them help me sort things in my head. It is a lot cheaper than therapy and seems to work as well.

Today I sat and I cried and I yelled at the beach while throwing rocks at it and into it. I then walked along the shore, crying and praying and thinking of every person who is missing.

*update* Today is a better day, for me. My heart still hurts for every person going through all of this... but me being angry at the beach is done... that won't do anyone any good... I am sure I will be down there throwing some more rocks at it and being upset... how can anyone not be when they see and hear all that is happening these days. Like i said earlier... the beach is my therapy.. so throw rocks, cry, pray and scream gets done there often.